The Husband:

After last week’s near-implosion of the Fang tribe, said by EW and Probst himself to at that point to be perhaps the worst tribe in the history of the television program, they bounced back quite efficiently, winning in both the reward challenge (one by the name of Tear The Other Tribe’s Member Off Of A Pole In Any Goddamn Way You Can And Drag Them Half-Naked Across The Sand Until You Cross A Predetermined Line) and the immunity challenge (Slide Down The Best Slip-‘N-Slide Ever And Have Your Respective Nerd Solve A Simple Math Puzzle). This shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise, though, because the show editors felt it very necessary to show us Ace, a member of the Kota tribe, proclaim at his camp that hey, they are already sleeping just fine at camp and don’t need to waste good human energy on a reward challenge that would give them blankets and other such amenities. They the proceeded to make their tiniest member, Paloma, one of the two cast members from Kota to be ripped off said pole. That’s only an excuse for one challenge loss, but Kota’s members were already in such disarray by the end of the reward challenge — including Sugar The Pin-Up Model Who Was On Angel being sent to Exile Island — that their fate was simply in the hands of the Survivor gods, thus leading to a good-for-television loss.

Nothing says Africa more than a Slip n Slide.

Nothing says Africa more than a Slip n' Slide.

Oh, and about Sugar The Pin-Up Model Who Was On Angel on Exile Island (which seems to not actually be an island but just another isolated part of the compound with a lake in the middle). Despite all proclamations from other cast members and online bloggers about her airheadedness, they will in due time be eating their words. Why? Because after almost collapsing from emotional and physical exhaustion on the “island (but not really) of exile,” she found the hidden immunity idol. Is this the earliest in a season a cast member has found the idol since they instituted one? I don’t have the evidence in front of me, nor do I feel like researching it, but only three rounds into the competition seems like a new record.

I don’t think she should have told Ace about the idol just yet, despite their friendship, because if we learned anything from last year — what with “Favorite” Jason being coerced into giving up the idol at Tribal Council, only to be voted off minutes later — that you should probably keep that info to yourself until absolutely necessary.

Every island needs its equivalent of The Professor. Even when the islands are just jungles in Africa.

Every island needs its equivalent of The Professor. Even when the islands are just jungles in Africa.

In the lead-up to Kota’s first Tribal Council, Corinne the self-proclaimed bitch of the season acted all Michelle Costa-style paranoid and said in her confessional that she considered Ace to be such a con artist that his accent probably wasn’t even real. What the eff?! Bitchy is one thing. Stupid is another.

At Tribal Council, all conversation was basically reduced to Paloma and Ace bickering back-and-forth, leading Jeff to suggest they may have been brother and sister in another life.

Paloma: Yeah, in another world. In a thousand years. And I’m dead.
Jeff: Wow.

But all of Ace’s obnoxious qualities — his tribe members see it as negativity and snobbery while he sees it as pragmatism — could only muster up two votes against him, thus leading to the ouster of Paloma.

As far as the rest of the game is going, I would say to keep your eyes on Charlie The Gay Lawyer. He could be this year’s Todd The Gay Mormon Flight Attendant — by which I mean that they both seem sneaky, smart and potential winners, not that they both happen to be gay. Gay does not equal going far in the game, nor does it indicate deviousness. I give you Brandon the Shrieking Queen who couldn’t even fire an arrow from the first Africa season and Chet The Wilting (And Bleeding) Flower from Fans Vs. Favorites. I rest my case.

“If Ace wins the million dollars, I’ll probably never watch Survivor again.” –Paloma, during her exit interview