The Husband:

This is the first episode of Ugly Betty this season, and one of the few in the entire series, that I just downright didn’t like, finding very little to appreciate about it in the midst of awkward story shifts and uncharacteristic behavior. Many people are very likely to chalk it up to the presence of Lindsay Lohan in the episode, due to her crap storyline and the recent news that she has been “let go” from the show due to a crapload of different reasons on which both parties cannot seem to agree. Me? I more blame a sort of combined laziness from both her acting style (described by UB producers as her simply wanting to play herself) and the producers/writers for creating such a lame bit of fluff in the first place.

And on Fridays we wear plaid!

And on Fridays we wear plaid!

UB is very adept at making its conflicts very heightened and crazy, so to dive into Betty’s past and only drag back such a lackluster plot does a disservice to this very hyper and colorful show. LiLo plays Betty’s high school bully, now grown up and struggling to get by in life, looking up to Betty and all of her success. Hoping to bury the hatchet, Betty brings her into the world of Mode as an assistant, and after stumbling a bit right out of the gates, LiLo gets a makeover – both physical and mental – from the dastardly duo of Marc and Amanda. Soon, she learns how to once again be a Mean Girl (ah, how the tables have turned since Mean Girls) and due to her press-attracting ways about her, Mode promotes her to Associate Editor in order to pull in some more PR, leaving Betty at the whim of LiLo’s rediscovered nastiness.

In the episode’s other lame plot, Wilhelmina and Daniel seem to struggle at Alexis’ recent hiatus from the show and decide to use a high-class dating service, only to be matched up with each other. Both learn more about the other than they ever had before (no, not sexually! Emotionally!) and go their separate ways. Yawn…

You want a dance battle? Ill give you a dance battle!

You want a dance battle? I'll give you a dance battle!

In the show’s only mildly interesting story, Justin auditions for a role in the Billy Elliot stage show, but at the audition sees a jock from his school going for the same role. After a bit of unfunny competition in the practice room, they both audition and lose to “the short guy.” Back at school, the two learn that despite their differences, they have the potential to be friends in public. (Why Justin didn’t audition for something more appropriate to his skill set and ethnicity, like the Tony-winning In The Heights, seems silly to me, but just like that iffy Wicked episode from s2, I guess the showrunners will only name-drop the big show of the moment at the time of writing.)