The Husband:

And now, more notes I took on American Idol, this time on last night’s two-hour Kansas City auditions episode.

  • [In the flashback to David Cook’s hometown welcome, I really dug the KC/DC sign (in the style of the AC/DC logo).
  • No, Jason Castro! No! Bad! Go away! *hisssssssssssssssssssss*
  • Auditions started at 8:03 this episode, far more acceptable than Tuesday night which took 14 minutes to get to one.
  • Best Simon quip so far: “It sounded like a cat jumping off of the Empire State Building.”
  • Ashley Anderson is the first contestant on Idol to use a song that Simon actually wrote…I think. (Did he write any Westlife tunes?)
  • What the fuck is a “Bubble Tea Maker”? [My wife told me, and I just looked it up, but I’m still frightfully confused and considerably grossed out]
  • Dude, there’s a Lebanon, MO? Do they shoot fireworks into the neighboring Jerusalem, MO?
  • Von Smith should join the touring company of some somewhat hip musical (like Hair.)
  • Seacrest/writers, Jason Castro was the third runner-up of season 7, not “fourth runner-up.” Fourth runner-up means fifth place.
  • The Banana Guy made me inordinately happy.
  • Jasmine Joseph reminds me of a couple meth addicts I know.
  • Sorry, Jessica Furney, but Joplin chicks never last very long. Case in point, s7’s rhythmically challenged Amanda Overmyer.
  • Come on, parents. Don’t name your daughters Asia and India. Is your son named Mongolia?
  • Danny Gokey is certainly the best of the night, with or without his admittedly very sad sob story (what with the dead wife and whatnot).
  • I can see Anoop Desai doing extremely well and I wouldn’t put it past him or the 12-to-25-year-old women of America getting him into the Top 12.
  • Very happy there was a montage set to “You Gotta Get A Gimmick” from Gypsy, one of my favorite musicals. I even wrote a one-act play in college using the song’s title as my own.
  • [Here is when I realized there was nothing I was compelled to write about for nearly 30 minutes. That’s a bad sign, Idol.]
  • Best quote of the night: “You guys are wrong and God’s gonna make you pay for that.” – Mia Conley, the janitorial engineer
  • Wow, exactly another 27 gold tickets were given out. During the preview for the coming weeks, Seacrest just comes right out and lets us know that 147 were given out overall during the auditions, which gives us 93 left to give out over six cities left. That’s going to make the final audition episode a little anticlimactic, no
This shit is bananas.

This shit is bananas.

The Wife:
  • Danny Gokey was hella good, and, wow, his story about his wife is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. I hope he does very well this season. I think his Sophia would have wanted him to.
  • Meanwhile, I am in love with Anoop Desai. Like, he makes me want to start practicing polyandry. I don’t love him just because he sings beautifully, but because he studies folklore at UNC. Among my other academic interests, I have a special place in my heart for mythology and folklore and I love that his particular interest is barbeque narratives. That’s so sexy. Noop-dog, if you ever want to talk about the importance of barbeque in narratives, I will totally buy you a drink and listen with rapt attention.