The Husband:

More stream-of-consciousness notes from yours truly on last night’s American Idol, focused entirely on the Louisville auditions. (What a deal!) These may actually become actual posts once something worth discussing actually happens.

  • What’s up with all the cold opening footage of stuff we’re already about to see? That’s usually just reserved for when the show goes into commercial? Trying to change it up, Idol producers? Please don’t. Some of us like to be surprised when we see something.
  • It’s pronounced Loo-Ah-Vuhl. Just ask Kirsten Dunst in Elizabethtown. (Vastly underrated and completely misunderstood movie, by the way…)
  • Having the auditions take place at Churchill Downs brings back a whole lot of memories when I was an extra for 2003’s Seabiscuit. My friend Geoff and I went to the Santa Anita Racetrack in Arcadia, CA (me in my pinstripe suit, him in my big-ass trench coat), were given really cheap-ass 1930s hats and told to sit in the stands. They were filming the big final race, so we really had to whoop it up. As with making big blockbuster movies, especially during action scenes such as this, it takes nearly all day to get only a handful of takes, and during the downtime Geoff and I got bored and decided to sit/stand in a different part of the crowd each set-up, thus making it virtually impossible to spot ourselves upon film’s release. (This is vastly different then when I was an extra in the first Spider-Man, where I can actually point myself out even on DVD copies.) We did get a lot out of the experience, though, including finding out that more than half of the “people” in the far reaches of the stands were actually just inflated plastic torsos with hats and fake tuxedo t-shirts on them, so we decided to deflate one of them, steal his shirt and fold up his body to sneak out of the place. I don’t know where the torso is, and I think the tux shirt is lost somewhere between Los Angeles and the Bay Area, but I know exactly where my hat is. Good times.
  • I’m glad that “High School Graduate” is considered a job in the world of Idol. [Other off-the-wall job descriptions from this episode will hereby be put in all caps and bolds and underlined, because they’re so ka-razeeeeeee…]
  • Simon: “Imagine 22 horses, and a donkey.” Come on, man. She wasn’t that bad. Quit it with the hyperbole, as usual.
  • Unlike many Idol viewers, I have zero issues with contestants who once had record contracts, such as Carly Smithson and Brooke White. This competition is to take potentially worthy performers and make them megastars, and just because a handful of people had already heard of somebody doesn’t discredit them as an artist. The rules have always been that as long as you don’t currently have a record contract at the time of Idol, then you’re a contestant. Always. Since season 1.
  • I’d like the insane Mark Mudd more if he had a giant mustache and was mining for gooooooooooooooooold…
  • Wouldn’t it be much cooler to refer to them as troubadours instead of “traveling musician”? At least Simon got to use one of my favorite words, “busker,” in the same segment. Look that one up, America.
  • TOOTHBRUSH COMPANY EMPLOYEE! ONLINE VARIETY SHOW HOST! DUELING PIANO PLAYER FROM KALAMAZOOOOOOOOO!
  • Yeah, I don’t think a Jay & The Americans song lends itself very well to opera. Neither is an ELVIS SONG.
  • Alexis Grace promises some great variety in her song choices, so long as she just tempers the crazy a bit.
  • Watch out with the Tyra slam, Simon. She gon’ keeeeel you…
  • BAR SINGER/MOM! RAILROAD WORKER!
  • Due to lame-ass scheduling – as in Idol going until 9:03, thus pushing the Lie To Me premiere to end at 10:06 – and the far-more-important presence of the Lost two-hour premiere, we had to miss the final three minutes of Idol, where I assume that Lenesh, the young woman who takes care of her poor mother, got a golden ticket. Just assuming is all. (And corroborating it online.) That would bring the total Golden Tickets to 19 (10 on the fist day, eight before her audition and then Lenesh), unless there were a bunch they didn’t show until the very end of the show. That means there are 62 Golden Tickets left for the final four cities.
I honestly didnt expect to see this guy in Louisville. San Francisco, maybe, but not Louisville.

I honestly didn't expect to see this guy in Louisville. San Francisco, maybe, but not Louisville.

The Wife:
That opera singing guy totally reminded me of Michael Shannon’s character in Revolutionary Road. I was pretty sure he was going to start yelling at people about abortions and trips to Paris and sandwiches with the crusts cut off.
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