The Husband:

And now it’s time for Salt Lake City, Utah!

Actually, I’m not too excited about SLC. It did lead to the very awesome movie SLC Punk, but aside from that, it is responsible for that wheezy little bastard David Archuleta. But on the plus side, its family-focused and polite culture does often lead to people using more showtunes as their audition songs, and that’s always a good thing.

Here are some of my notes:

  • No, Archuleta! No! [Clearly I saw his face and had flashbacks to screaming tweens.]
  • Dammit, Idol! Stop using the cold open to tell me what I’m about to see! I’m watching it already. That’s why I DVRed the damn thing.
  • “Shiny Happy People”? More like “Shiny Crazy Mormons.” [I grew up in a religion-less house with a slight bit of my father’s Jewish agnosticism and then ended up going to Catholic school for 10 years, so I tend to kind of be more confused than anything else regarding Mormon doctrine.]
  • Ack! Osmonds everywhere!
  • Speaking of Osmonds and MS, can we have Wheelchair Idol next year? … Sorry, I’m probably going to hell for that, but it couldn’t be any worse than the short-lived American Juniors.
  • *sigh* Okay. I like David Osmond. A lot. If I could get past Brooke White’s Mormonism, I can certainly get around his. [I was going to ask where her album was, but apparently it’s already out. Time to bust out the credit card.]
  • Wow. Paula actually dropped some music knowledge during an audition this week. Usually it’s all about feelings.
  • Tara’s audition of “One Day I’ll Fly Away” actually made me like Nicole Kidman’s singing voice more. I usually skip over that track on the CD and space out when watching the movie.
  • I definitely need that “Hippity Hop” song that accompanied the Bunny Man.

    Sorry, I thought this was an open audition for Harvey.

    Sorry, I thought this was an open audition for Harvey.

  • Simon feeds on your pain, contestants! How dare you nicely and politely accept his rejection of you!
  • Megan Corkrey = Sweet-ass ‘tats
  • I keep waiting for Rhonda Volmer to show up and out-evil Simon.
  • Rose Flack is an awesome name. Not so awesome? Having both parents die by the time you’re 15.

13 Golden Tickets given out in SLC. That leaves 33 for New York and Puerto Rico, and seeing as how everyone who worked on Idol has mentioned how much of a failure Puerto Rico was, I’m hoping for NYC to take nearly all of those tickets. Since most of the Idol winners have been Southerners – and nobody north of the Mason-Dixon Line or from a major metropolis or any coastal town, I’m really pulling for a Blue State win. Just to shake things up.

The Wife:

  • I am deeply concerned with the amount of young mothers at the Utah auditions. It is totally cool to be a stay-at-home-mom and totally cool to be a mom, but the sheer volume of these moms under the age of 23 mostly made me feel kind of sad for these girls. I am sure they love their babies and, with the exception of about-to-be-divorced Megan Corkrey, their husbands, but I wonder if had any other aspirations and dreams besides motherhood or if the idea of growing up, finding a husband and starting a very large family was the only thing people told them they should be doing.
  • Everyone in Utah is really good looking, but they all look the same . . .
  • . . . except for Tara the Goth, who has no idea what she actually looks like because if she did, she would have chosen a more flattering Goth-fit.
    Just because everything here came from Hot Topic doesn't mean it actually goes together.

    Just because everything here came from Hot Topic doesn't mean it actually goes together.

  • I have never seen a piece of architecture tattooed as beautifully as the old Victorian house at the top of Megan Corkrey’s sleeve. I WILL HAVE A TATTOOED IDOL, GODDAMN IT! I MISS CARLY SMITHSON!
  • I really liked Rose Flack, and I am certain that if Francesca Lia Block ever gets around to shopping her film adaptation of her young adult novel Violet and Claire, Rose would be perfect for the role of Claire. If there are elvin pixie folk living amongst us, Rose Flack is certainly one of them.