PBBTTTHHHHHH!

You hear that? That’s the sound of my brain flushing out all the recent episodes of television I had yet to write up. My daytime job’s responsibilities have increased tenfold, and I find myself with just that much less time a day to do the thing that I actually want to do – write about television. I can’t just not write about these shows and leave you all hanging, though, so here’s me dumping out all over the place.

PBBTTTHHHHHH!

These first few have some of the notes I wrote down to coincide with the show, and for some reason or another – oh wait, I know the reason, it’s because I just haven’t been able to find the time – I just couldn’t get them together to form an actual post.

And to make things easy, as each show’s write-up will be very small, I have broken my rule to give them letter grades. However, I will try not to use them in the future.

Scrubs 8.7 “My New Role”

Grade: B+

Dr. Cox has major issues balancing his time as the new Chief of Medicine, so he and Kelso finally repair their relationship that has been seemingly broken for decades. J.D. realizes that he must take the place of Dr. Cox to be a responsible, trustworthy doctor.

Some jotted quotes and other miscellaneous funny things:

  • “It is inappropriate to interrupt an attending when he’s hittin’ it.” – J.D.
  • “Since we’re friends now, I can show you my butt.” – Kelso
  • “Look at me! I can’t touch anything I love without hurting it!” – J.D. with cactus hands
  • “It’s Monday. Monday is bongo day.” – Janitor
  • Apparently, Ted’s never been hugged
  • Disrespecting Nurses Five!
  • On Cox’s Never Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever List: J.D., Hooch, Jordan

Scrubs 8.8 “My Lawyer’s In Love”

Grade: A-

While Cox learns to balance his time better between his work and his growing family, Ted finds love in a sweet and cute ukulele player who constantly visits pediatrics. Aziz Ansari gets fired for laziness. Special shout-out to actress Kate Micucci, who played Ukulele Girl a.k.a. Stephanie Gooch, who matriculated at the same university as yours truly. She was a grad student during my undergrad years, but I still noticed her around campus and was lucky enough to catch some of her stand-up comedy/performance pieces at our campus open mic room. My favorite was a bizarre puppet show about the meaning of Christmas.

Some quotes and other such things:

  • The Peons (Ted’s a capella group) are now singing 70s standards like Blue Oyster Cult’s “Don’t Fear The Reaper”
  • “A capella music is – how to put this delicately – ear rape.” – Cox
  • “Ted, we saw you in the park throwing rocks at old couples.” – J.D.


My Name Is Earl 4.16 “Randy’s List Item”

Grade: B-

After the great two-parter that dealt with Darnell’s ousting from Camden due to the Witness Protection Program and his wife’s appearance on the glorious reality TV show Estrada Or Nada, we’re back to the same-ol’-same-ol’ My Name Is Earl, one with very little forward momentum. At least this week, it’s Randy’s turn as he wins $250 in a lotto scratcher, but is then hit by a bicycle and realizes that, just like his brother, he must pay tribute to karma. This time? He must reunite Earl with two of their old trailer park buddies who became estranged when Randy framed Zeke and Arlo, but as usual things don’t always go as planned, and Randy finds out that his true task is to bring Zeke and Arlo closer together as brothers.

Joy, meanwhile, is constantly and intentionally blowing her family’s witness protection cover because she is not happy with each new location, including being the Gruddlebutts of NYC in a noisy apartment, working at a lumberjack camp (complete with Darnell sporting a sweet beard) and finally living in an igloo amongst the caribou. Joy discovers that the two Witness Protection agents are having an affair, so she blackmails them into relocating them to a great big house in a sunny, palm tree-lined area (where she can presumably take the name Goldilocks “Goldie” Cristal.)

The one great quote from the episode:

“Wanna see my scabs that look like people?” – Arlo

The Office 5.13 “Lecture Circuit Part 1”

Grade: B+

As a result of good sales, Michael is now doing the lecture circuit at other branches of Dunder Mifflin, and Pam acts as his driver/assistant. As usual, his speeches don’t really add up to anything, but Pam makes the trip better when she suggests that they blow off one of the locations and head to Nashua, New Hampshire, to see Michael’s one true love Holly. To be continued, where it will continue to rock my face.

Oh…and who do they see along the way? Karen (Rashida Jones), Jim’s ex-girlfriend and ex-coworker who is now married to a dermatologist…and pregnant. (Preggers OH NOES!)

Back at Scranton, Jim and Dwight, as the new heads of party planning, have forgotten Kelly’s birthday (finally some Kelly screentime, thanks to actress Mindy Kaling writing the episode), but then clash on how to make it up to her. (Dwight’s suggestion? A banner that reads “It is your birthday,” and black and brown balloons.)

Andy, meanwhile, has his eyes on a beautiful African-American client, but he blows what could have become something more when he goes in for a kiss way too soon.

Quotes and other funny stuff:


“Andy: For your information, I’ve been with beautiful women.

Phyllis: Sexually?

Andy: This conversation is over.”

  • The fact that Creed has dated Squeaky Fromme.
  • Michael: “Would a liar bring mini Mounds bars?”
    [Pam joylessly tosses candy at the employees]

AND NOW, SHOWS ON WHICH I WROTE NO NOTES! HAVE FUN WITH THIS TV MEMORY DUMP!

Ugly Betty 3.12 “Sisters On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown”

Grade: B-

As Papi recovers from his heart attack, Hilda guilts Betty into realizing that she has been putting her career before her family. This becomes worse when she is forced to leave her father at the hospital so she can intercept a set of photos that would expose Daniel and Molly’s Caribbean love vacation to her unknowing ex-fiancé (and Daniel’s CFO), who himself is having a secret affair with Wilhelmina. Betty wins in the end, blackmailing fashion TV host Suzuki St. Pierre with her knowledge of his secret – he’s actually a butch heterosexual man with a family and a house in New Jersey – only to be foiled by a gossip rag cover that shows Molly with some faceless hunk standing behind Heidi and Spencer on a St. Barth’s Beach.

I liked Betty’s stuff, and I’m happy she’s moving out of her Manhattan apartment temporarily to be closer to her family, but I’m not sure if I give two shits about the Daniel-Molly-Connor-Wilhemina love square. There’s just very little chemistry.

Ugly Betty 3.13 “Kissed Off”

Grade: C+

Betty has nothing to do this season regarding her love life, and this continues as sexy musician neighbor Jesse moves his way back into Betty’s life, only this time she realizes that he has no concern for or interest in anybody other than himself. Amanda, meanwhile, must find a roommate to sublet Betty’s half of the apartment, and in the end she makes the wise choice and chooses Mark. Now that’s a sitcom set-up if e’er I’ve seen one.

Frankly, were hoping for our own spin-off.

Frankly, we're hoping for our own spin-off.

In the Meade Empire love square, Connor finally – after stalking her for a bit – finds out who Molly’s new beau is, and while some punches are thrown and big issues are discussed, Daniel and Connor learn that they can still work with each other, even if Connor’s ex-fiancée is now banging the boss.

The one quote I wrote down:

“Is it possible that he was just licking guacamole off your chin?” – Amanda to Betty

Private Practice 2.14 “Second Chances”

Grade: C

I remember virtually nothing about this episode, other than that Violet still doesn’t tell Pete and Sheldon that she’s pregnant and is still unsure of who the father is, and that she moves in with Cooper. As far as medical cases go, a woman gives birth while having a stroke, I laughed, and then I felt bad about laughing at a woman having a stroke. And then I felt shame. Then I fell asleep.

You got bored because this isnt Swingtown.

You got bored because this isn't Swingtown.

Grey’s Anatomy 5.14 “Beat Your Heart Out”

Grade: B

An episode with a lot going on but perhaps a little too much.

Now that Denny the Ghost/Grim Reaper is no longer following Izzie around, she can now abuse the interns into giving her medical tests to find out what the hell is wrong with her, but all they find is that she’s anemic. Dr. Bailey, meanwhile, really does not want to work in pediatrics anymore after the emotion-sucking experience of that sick kid with the bowel problems and his near-death, as well as her own son’s medical issues, but is then convinced by none other than Dr. “Apsergers” Dixon that she perfect for the job because of her intense emotional involvement and willingness to break the rules.

Dr. Arizona Robbins kisses Callie. It’s like she’s a lesbian magnet.

Where is the gator with gaydar when you need him?

Where is the gator with gaydar when you need him?

Meredith gets Cristina to read more of Mer’s death mother’s journals, and finds out that when Mother Grey and the Chief were having an affair, he was going to propose to her.

Speaking of proposals, Derek is finally going to pop the question (with additional goading from a pregnant Jennifer Westfeldt) to Meredith, but then receives a call from Addison down in Los Angeles, and something is terribly wrong. What is it? Follow me over to the next entry!

Private Practice 2.15 “Acceptance”

Grade: C+

This is why Addison was calling Derek. Her neurologist brother, Archer, is having some major seizures, and while he’s all sure that it’s an inoperable brain tumor, it takes the other doctors of Oceanside Wellness – who are not neurologists, mind you – to discover that it’s actually brain-eating parasites he caught while on his book tour.

As usual, Cooper gets the best story. This time, a seven-year-old girl who has had many operations (and more to come) as a result of a horrible car accident is abandoned at Oceanside by her parents, who can no longer afford to keep her and care for her. Cooper tracks the parents down at a relative’s house, but instead of guilting them into taking the child back, he realizes that they don’t deserve her. The girl is taken by child services (sad face), but maybe, just maybe, they might be better able to take care of her. Healthcare is a big deal, people, and the sooner you realize that we as a country should be willing to pay more for it via taxes the better of we’ll be. (There’s my sporadic political activism at work, which I will now turn off.)

Violet finally tells Pete and Sheldon about her pregnancy and that she will be keeping the child. I don’t remember what they said in response, but I know that neither of them particularly wants children.

And hey, this was advertised as a crossover episode along with Grey’s, and yet only the final minutes of each had anything to do with each other. Next week is the major crossover, and I wish ABC was more honest about this. Damn grubby ratings-grabbers.

We will have more TV Memory Dump tomorrow! And then perhaps we can return to our regularly scheduled write-ups from moi, the Husband.

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