The Husband:

As per my grab bag post yesterday, I’m going to continue flushing out all the television episodes in my brain that I just simply cannot get to in any quick fashion, and so I’m giving you very short little pieces on each, accompanied with letter grades. (Again, I must reiterate that the letter grades are only for the TV Memory Dumps and will not be used under any other circumstances).

King Of The Hill 13.8 “Lucky See, Monkey Do”

Grade: A-

Luanne’s due date is nearing, and during her low-key baby shower is forced to reevaluate the way she intends on birthing and raising her baby when Lucky’s sister Myrna (voice of Paget Brewwwwwwwwster) guilts her into trying out new and modern types of baby-rearing concepts (water births, a red-and-gray nursery), and in doing so insulting Peggy’s concept of motherhood. But when the baby comes a-knockin’ two weeks early, Luanne decides to not listen to either woman’s advice and start learning to do this herself.

(Bill, meanwhile, pursues a sultry fast-food drive-thru worker to her actual call center in Arizona, only to find out that she’s 17. A very sad, very short story that was still kinda funny.)

Now that Gracie Kleinschmidt has been born (although Luanne, under a massive amount of drugs, first attempted to name the child “Lasagna”), we enter a new era of King Of The Hill, even as it winds down to its assumed final episodes. (Unless ABC does come through and pick it up, Scrubs style.) The more characters the merrier on this show, this gloriously sweet show, and once again I’m happy at the show’s balancing act between realizing that while traditional ways of life may be silly and worthy of being forgotten, modern methods aren’t always the answer. It’s all about the yin and the yang, people, even though I’m not sure Hank Hill would approve of my mention of Taoist principles.

American Dad 4.9 “Stan Time”

Grade: B

This episode of American Dad amused me while it frustrated me, because while a good early concept fell apart due to highly fragmented storytelling (a big no-no in my book, i.e. the worst episodes of The Simpsons and Family Guy), I still laughed extremely hard for most of its running time. But I was scratching my head as I laughed.

When Stan finds that he can’t even get 20 minutes to himself upon returning home from work, he takes a co-worker’s advice and begins taking a special pill that makes it feel like he has just slept eight hours, which gives him the whole night to do whatever he wants to do. While a normal person would pursue a worthwhile hobby, he ends up becoming an expert at a really rudimentary 8-bit videogame Beet Man, leading to him winning a tournament at a restaurant but not much else.

If I make it to the next level, I get to fight zombie bunnies!

If I make it to the next level, I get to fight zombie bunnies!

Francine, meanwhile, finds out about the pills and then pursues her goal to become an amateur oceanographer, during which she stumbles upon the true location of the famed colossal squid. Stan, realizing now that he needs to spend quality time with his family, goes to the bottom of the ocean, kills one of the colossal squids, and makes up with Francine.

Steve and Roger, meanwhile, give a boring old story some new laughs when they are asked to write a script for a porn movie, but Roger can’t get past the cliché of the pool cleaner/pizza delivery guy being a character, while Steve can’t help but get all sci-fi about the entire ordeal.

Funny? Yes. Confusing? Kind of. And where the hell is Haley?

Desperate Housewives 5.14 “Mama Spent Money When She Had None”

Grade: C-

Gaby joined a fitness boot camp and is tortured until she finds happiness in being able to fit into her old dresses again. Susan gets mad at Mike for buying Katherine a pearl necklace (and not the fun kind) instead of giving money to son M.J. for him to attend a prestigious private school, until she finds out that the necklace was a fake and that he’s struggling to make ends meet. Lynette, too, is having trouble making ends meet, so recent New York Times bestselling author Bree invests in 15% of the Scavos’ restaurant, only to mess with the natural order of the restaurant and piss of Lynette.

Me? Oddly annoyed by almost everybody. Lynnette especially has some ‘splaining to do, but I’m also very concerned that Marc Cherry thinks I actually give a shit about Gaby’s weight.

Brothers & Sisters 3.14 “Owning It”

Grade: B+

Rebecca discovers Tommy’s devious plan to overthrow her mother, Holly, as CEO of Ojai, and so we get some sweet Ken Olin action as she confides in her recently discovered father (you know, when she found out that she wasn’t actually a Walker but the son of the show’s producer, and Patricia Wettig’s real-life husband, sporting a beard and acting all artsy.) This, of course, is much bigger news in her life than Justin’s sponsor trying to get all up on his junk, because he knows that Rebecca is far hotter and more stable than a recovering alcoholic.

Everyone throws Kitty a baby shower (or, really, a baby mama shower that oddly does not include the surrogate herself), which of course devolves into three of the characters yelling at each other for various reasons. Kitty, especially, is under attack for even considering taking a position at the local Wexley University (I think that’s the name) as a professor of communications instead of focusing on the baby she’s going to have in four weeks, but she makes her decision and rejects the position even before she figures out that husband Robert McCallister is about to begin his bid for CA governor.

Kitty, youre going to play shower games whether you like it or not!

Kitty, you're going to play shower games whether you like it or not!

Nora, meanwhile, is devastated to learn that Roger, the architect with whom she is sleeping, has a wife, but is thrown entirely for a loop when it is discovered that Roger is actually in an open marriage. She considers pursuing this new modern-type relationship for a spell, but then decides that she can’t be the other woman – or, more specifically, she can’t be like the much-despised Holly who destroyed Nora’s relationship with her deceased husband in the first place – so she breaks it off with him while continuing to have a professional relationship.

You see how much more I was able to write about Brothers & Sisters than Desperate Housewives, even when I’m doing a Television Memory Dump? That should be an indication of my respective…respect…for each show at this current time. Why aren’t more people interested in Brothers & Sisters and its online fans?

The episode, though, does lose one grade point simply for Justin kissing his sponsee. Leave that middling melodrama cliché outside, foo.