The Wife:

I always appreciate the way in which HIMYM creates its narratives, and this episode was unabashedly about storytelling. It’s just an episode where the gang chills at the bar after last call (so Robin can have her morning drink before heading off to tape Come On, Get Up, New York!) where they catch Robin up on everything she’s missed in their lives due to her new sleep schedule. She’s at first disappointed that no one has news, but then two narratives emerge: Barney encourages Marshall to tell the funniest story in the world – the tale of the day Marshall forgot his pants – while Ted fesses up to the gang that he’s reunited with his douchebag college girlfriend, Karen.

Lily and Marshall hate Karen because she’s a pretentious douchebag and, worse, she turned Ted into “one of her douche-zombies” whenever he was around her, Lily says. Just how big of a douchebag is Karen? This should answer that question:

“I love that you guys live in a dorm. It’s so American – like, we should all eat bologna sandwiches and be racist.”


She also thinks that salt is really bourgeois and would constantly cheat on Ted – in his bed – prompting the titular “Sorry, bro” from whomever Karen had seduced. Ted would then break up with her, and immediately get right back together. The gang is very disappointed to learn that Ted has called Karen and had lunch with her, where they relive their doucheyness by ordering Italian food by leaving off the final vowels (which makes me want to punch Ted square in the balls) and casually asking the waiter to correct an embarrassing mis-listing on their wine list.

But shes like cute-pretentious, right guys?

But she's like cute-pretentious, right guys?

Barney tells everyone that there are only four reasons an ex would want to have a meal with you. First, they might want to get back together, like Lily and her high school boyfriend, Scooter. Second, they may want to kill you, which is what Barney thought when Wendy the Waitress only wanted to give him a new tie. Third, they may just want to give you back your gun, because Robin has a habit of leaving her gun at people’s homes. Or, if your Marshall, they want to rub their newfound success in your face, like Marshall’s first grade ex who left him for a boy who read at a fifth grade level.

Ted and Karen end up hooking up, only to find out that Karen hasn’t changed at all and that she’s still a philanderer, only this time, she’s cheating with Ted instead of on him.


“The meathead Karen was cheating with was me, Ted! Me, Ted!”

(Say it out loud if you don’t catch the pun . . .)

Ted at first feels vindicated that he gets to huff, “Sorry, bro,” at someone, but then realizes that if he stays with Karen this time instead of telling her how he really feels, neither of them will be better people for it. So he calls her on her shit and breaks up with her.

The Karen story was told entirely through HIMYM‘s signature flashbacks, but even Ted’s storytelling utilized the show’s skillful manipulations of time and misdirection. He constantly mislead his listeners by suggesting that he was going to do in the future the things he had actually already done, and then, of course, reveals after his announcement that he broke up with Karen for good that they’re actually still dating and that she’s coming to join them at the bar right now. It just makes sense that the way Ted tells stories in the present of the show is reflective of the way the show tells stories as a whole.

As for Marshall and the day he forgot his pants, my favorite storytelling riff in this one was Barney’s constant interruption of Marshall’s delivery of the crucial realization that the pants were indeed forgotten. As Marshall starts, and Barney interrupts, saying he wants to say it, the flashback of Marshall taking his clothes out of his gym bag restarts. The story cannot continue unless someone is telling it correctly, and each time they restart, it restarts. As for the story itself, Marshall forgot his pants, so Lily brought him a new pair and gave them to Barney, who cut them up into pirate-y bermuda shorts, which Marshall has been wearing all day and is still wearing because they show off his sexy calves. It’s not as funny as Barney thinks it is, although I bet it’s funnier than Robin’s “funniest thing in the world,” a monkey wearing two tuxedoes, but it’s brilliantly told. I love that the show chose to acknowledge its storytelling techniques this week as the characters just sat around and told stories. Still, Barney did get a great line in about Marshall’s short pants at the very important meeting for which he needed said pants:

“Hey, Erickson, please sir, may I have some more . . . pants?”


And where was Robin during all of this? Hopped up on sleeping pills, talking in her sleep, and sleep-eating ribs on Ted’s kitchen floor while he and Karen made out like douche-zombies on Ted’s couch.

Some other funny things I just couldn’t work into a paragraph:

  • Marshall does not for one second regret that he grew a soul patch in college, wore a rasta hat and demanded to be called MJ Smooth for a week.
  • Most hilarious attempt to cover up Alyson Hannigan’s pregnancy: stick a globe right the fuck in front of her!
  • Second most hilarious attempt to cover up Alyson Hannigan’s pregnancy: drape her in an American flag for the Wrestlemania segment.
  • Lily hates Karen because she one walked in on Lily painting Marshall nude (why? Marshall ate her bowl of fruit), and Karen’s gaze lingered on that fine man specimen that is Marshall Erickson. She’s a dirty lingerer.
  • Barney: A hug is like a public dry hump.
    Marshall: I think you’re hugging wrong.
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