The Wife:

One thing I’ve always appreciated about How I Met Your Mother is that it’s filled with callbacks for regular viewers, and I have to say that I was pleasantly amused by the callbacks in “The Three Days Rule,” as well as a callback on last night’s Big Bang Theory to what is undoubtedly my favorite thing ever to appear on the show. But as for tonight’s episode of HIMYM itself, it was pretty much a non-starting plot that led to an amusing “sexting” prank war between Ted, known to call women too soon, and Marshall and Barney, who pretend to be Ted’s most recent date in order to prevent him from calling her too soon. I’m usually not bothered by stuff that doesn’t advance the master plot about meeting the mother, and I certainly wasn’t bothered by this. However, with HIMYM, I prefer episodes that add to the overall plot of the series – be that Marshall and Lily’s adult responsibilities, Ted’s romantic quest or anything involving BRoLove. And this episode wasn’t any of those things. It was, however, totally funny. Why so funny? Let me count the ways:

1. Barney’s brief history of The Three Days Rule, which traces its origins to Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who knew how to play to crowds and waited three days to resurrect himself because if he had just waited one day, like, nobody would have even known that he’d died. NPH’s delivery of this speech was amazing. In fact, when we have children, I think I shall make them listen to it every Easter as they stuff their little faces with pagan chocolate bunnies.

2. Ted’s naked lady laugh and its boundlessness. He will laugh at accidentally seeing Lily in the bathroom. He will laugh at National Geographic. And, my favorite, a faux-Picasso painting, with the addition of, “That’s a boobie.”

3. When Robin realizes what Marshall and Barney are up to: “You sons of bitches. You’re Holly.”

4. The Return of Ted’s Red Cowboy Boots! I’m so glad that Marshall and Barney came up with a way to get Ted to put those on. So, so glad.

5. Ted’s revenge texting scheme: telling Marshall and Barney that he has gay dreams about his best friend, causing the two of them to wonder which of them Ted would rather have sex with.

Why do we keep wanting to have sex with Ted?

Why do we keep wanting to have sex with Ted?

6. Marshall’s speech about his cuddliness. I wish I had written this whole thing down, but I was too excited by its inclusion that I kept tapping my husband exclaiming, “YOU HAVE TO PUT THAT ON A TEE SHIRT!!!” As such, all I was able to write down was the excellent end line to that speech: “I’m cuddly, bitch! Deal with it!” And so the similarities between my husband and Marshall continue. He is a cuddly motherfucker, and you just have to fucking deal with it.

7. “The machines are forcing you. They wanna watch. That’s just how they get down.” – Barney, explaining the scenario Marshall concocts to get Ted’s answer about which one of them he’d rather have sex with when the inevitable robot uprising occurs.

8. Stan. This dude is the mack daddy of sending sexy texty texts, sending ladies snippets of Pablo Neruda, which we know Ted loves from “The Naked Man,” where his date, Vicky, proclaims she hates Neruda because it’s all in Mexican and she prefers the poetry of Jewel, who has crooked teeth and lived in her car, so, you know, she’s got stuff to write about. This was an even better callback for me that I bet a lot of people missed because they were too busy focusing on how awesome Stan is. Stan is so the mack daddy of sexting that Marshall and Barney both fall in love with him a little bit, but he ultimately ditches them to go on a date with Robin. That dude is gonna be legendary. Just you wait.

On another note, Cobie Smulders is now so pregnant that flowy tops just aren’t working anymore. I bet that when Alyson Hannigan returns, Robin will be confined to the booth or her morning news program that nobody watches while Lily gets to do all the walking around, sans flowy tops and giant handbags. Also, I’m not the only one waiting for a baby Satyana Denisof cameo, right?

The Husband:

You know that guy, Stan? Played by the omnipresent Kevin Michael Richardson. Now, on look alone, you may remember him as Rockefeller Butts (best name ever) on ABC’s short-lived non-laugh track sitcom The Knights of Prosperity, but did you know that he is one of the most high-profile and prolific voice artists out there?

Go ahead. Click on his IMDB page. I dare you. Your mind will explode.

You may notice that, amidst all those voices, he not only did Goro in the Mortal Kombat movie, but he was also Deus Ex Machina in The Matrix Revolutions, and if you remember that scene, you know that he is the baddest muthaeffa of them all.

Besides, I think if there were a battle between animated show voices, Mr. Richardson would whoop some ass.