The Husband:

– I’m sorry, but Casey the Bitter Banana absolutely deserved that eviction. Thinking himself a noble being and a formidable player, he decided to do two things I very much don’t advise: 1.) expose your entire plan, and 2.) act like a total jackass. Oh, poor you, Casey. Things didn’t go exactly as you planned, so you stomped your feet and cried like one of your Floridian fifth graders. I’m sorry, but your ill-advised ego got a hold of your game and never let go, and you simply pissed off enough people to warrant an ousting. There are few things I hate more on this show than the woe-is-my-betrayed-hide guff I get from you and, during last week, Russell. It’s a strategy game, and if you end up on the outside of the house during the first half of the game, you personally did something wrong, and this very much includes your margarita-party-over-more-points bullshit during the challenge. (In the home stretch, it becomes less about your external mistakes and more about your internal ones, but that’s a discussion for another day.) And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with wearing a banana suit, especially one as non-embarrassing as that one. I had to wear a full banana suit my first day at Jamba Juice back when I was in college, and I relished the opportunity to traipse around the Powell Street Plaza in Emeryville jumping like a freak and handing out coupons. It was actually my favorite day at that summer job. So suck it.

-I still simply do not understand the hate for Ronnie from most of the house and the online community. He hasn’t acted a buffoon, he hasn’t acted like a sore winner/loser, and he most certainly hasn’t actually stepped on too many toes. He’s the victim of a terrible smear campaign, when he is doing what everybody should be doing – playing the godforsaken game. He’s using his smarts, he’s keeping his boasts to the diary room and he has 100% succeeded in moving his target onto Jessie’s back. Ronnie isn’t Jessie’s bitch, Jordan – Jessie is Ronnie’s bitch. Is it that Ronnie isn’t as good-looking as Dr. Will, who played a similarly risky game? Are your insults solely aimed at Ronnie’s nerdy looks? Can you look past your preconceived notions about “brains” and realize that he had bounced back admirably from nearly burying himself during his HOH run? It seems not.

This reaaaaaaallllllllly has to stop.

This reaaaaaaallllllllly has to stop.

– Lydia lusting after Jessie = gross. I thought you were better than that, Lydia, but I can understand your brain getting a little scrambled having lived in L.A. for so long. (That’s right. I said it. I lived there for five years, so I can say that.)

– Ohhhhh, Jordan, I understand that, judging from the live feeds reports, you are not nearly as stupid as you are made out to be on CBS. I can understand that. You have a very dark underside, and each episode I come closer to realizing how street-smart you are. But man, what happened during your childhood that would make you appear so completely vapid in regards to any actual education? I’m trying not to chalk it up solely to your extreme prettiness, but it’s hard to find another explanation.

Here are my favorite Jordan quotations from the week:

“I may not be the smartest crayon in the box.”

Jeff: What was that?

Jordan: That was a fart. On your face.

And her best ironic statement of the week:

Casey: They sent Laura home because she wasn’t a sheep. Same with me. I’m not a sheep.

Jordan: I’m right behind you.


– Did anyone see that Russell/Ronnie twist coming? As evidenced from my tirade against Russell last week, I certainly didn’t. After nearly destroying Ronnie’s soul last week, Russell is now in a secret alliance with Ronnie. (Which, of course, became not-so-secret when everybody noticed how chummy they were being. Good job, Aggie.) Oh well. The douche-manchu is gone, and Russell is back to being an unknowing buffer between the jocks and the rest of the house, as evidenced by the best dialogue of the last three episodes:

Casey: On that team, you’re number four.

Russell: [pause] I’m number two.

– I most certainly hope that the gigantic foam diploma (which looks more like a bow-tied crèpe to me) makes it onto The Soup tonight, because that’s certainly the funniest thing that has happened so far this season.