The Husband:

Ronnie took a risk, and now, finally, the risk came around to bite him in the ass. He did not, in fact, take the advice of either myself or my wife to simply slow his roll, at least not to the point that it would have taken the target off of his back. But even if he had completely sat back and let the house evolve organically into different situations, he had caused so many problems during his one week as HOH that I’m not sure if he ever could have recovered.

Although, if Russell had continued to be his hidden ally (which we found out about last week in a bizarre surprise) and not simply reverted back to complete douchery, we might have had something. But since he became the fourth HOH of the house, somebody turned his paranoia volume to 11, and pretty much anybody who was talking in a room where he was not became his enemy. So say goodbye to his alliance with Ronnie and hello to getting in a completely mind-bogglingly pointless screaming match with Chima.

Meanwhile, Lydia just had to lay back and let everybody scream at Ronnie, and she was set. I usually don’t appreciate floating on most reality shows, but I think she and Kevin (especially Kevin) have the right idea in this season of noticing that all the strategy this season seems to have been injected with steroids and methamphetamines, and have reacted by simply stepping the fuck out of the way. Lydia’s only mistakes in the house so far have been letting her temper take over or letting her libido take over.

And while all this nonsense has been occurring, I was aghast to find myself, during the Tuesday episode, turning to my wife and saying, “When did Jessie become a good person?” This was the moment where he and Natalie peeked into the pool room and very nicely and calmly spoke with Ronnie, without even a hint of strategy or pent-up frustration, telling him that they did everything they could to save him and that there is just too much momentum against him. Seriously, when did he stop being a buffoon and start becoming a real human being? My wife says it’s because he lost last year to somebody who was one of the nicest players in the game (and certainly the nicest winner), and that, presumably, he had to rethink his douchery. Believe me, Russell have enough douchery to lap around the entire house for the next three years.

I really wanted to continue posting silly photos of Jessie, but youll have to settle for the face Ronnie is now permanently making having lost the game to someone much better at poker than he is.

I really wanted to continue posting silly photos of Jessie, but you'll have to settle for the face Ronnie is now permanently making having lost the game to someone much better at poker than he is.

But despite all my Ronnie defense, man, it was time to go. I also clearly have missed something, because the back-and-forth between Ronnie and Michele during Thursday’s episode seems to come almost completely out of nowhere. I know that they are not allies, but I have no clue why Michele felt the need to insult him during the Veto competition, why he felt the need to declare that she was the worst human being he has ever met, and why she gave him a final bit of shit during her taped farewell. They have both played each other in interesting ways, and I would have hoped that they would have at least respected each other’s games. Ronnie, you got played and I hope you can deal with that, so no need to stomp your feet like a child when you get caught. But Michele, you are a neuroscientist, so you are by definition a dork, so no need to throw crap around, no need to insult and no need to lie. What in God’s name happened?

And Chima is still worthless. But she’s the new HOH, so it’s going to be at least two more weeks of her worthlessness.

The Wife:

Because I care about what people are wearing, I feel the need to talk to the Chenbot for a second. Miss Julie, you usually dress rather nice for live eviction nights, sometimes wearing a cocktail dress and sometimes looking like a news anchor. That’s all lovely. And Julie, I know you’re pregnant and there’s a part of you that’s intentionally trying to hide your bump by holding your notecards at just-such-an-angle. However, you’re going to need to explain what the fuck was up with your bright yellow capris-and-athletic-shirt look from last night. That was neither up to your usual standards of professionalism, nor did it go with your perfectly coiffed hair. I realize you’re carrying a tiny hooman and that you might not feel like looking really gorgeous every day. I get that you want to be comfortable, but that outfit was a disaster. I could MAYBE have let you get away with the yellow capris with a different top –maybe just a simple white peasant blouse– but altogether it was too much. It looked like you were wearing workout clothes, and that just doesn’t make any damn sense when your hair and makeup look that good. No more workout apparell, okay, Miss Julie? Next week, I expect you to do better.