The Husband:

After a season of wildly fluctuating success, Ugly Betty finished off its season with style and grace, and even though some stories ended up deflating considerably, others found a bit of truth in them, while one caught me completely off-guard. After what I thought was a damn good fall half of the season – some would disagree with me, especially in regards to one Ms. Lohan, but if anything, the comedy was top-notch for this show at that point – everything just kind of dropped off, and with the exception of all the YETI drama, the only thing that really got me through was Betty’s relationship with Matt.

But what’s been going on since I last checked in? David Rasche, who will forever be Sledge Hammer to me, came in as Matt’s billionaire father Cal Hartley to save the near-bankrupt Meade Publications and threw everything for a loop, pissing both Daniel and Wilhemina in the process. It’s always tough when you have an owner who knows virtually nothing about fashion and seems to design the magazine around how his dick feels. I guess that rubbed off on Matt early in his life, as we found out episodes earlier that he had been a bit of a he-bitch man-whore. (Cal Hartley, btw, once impregnated Claire Meade, but that’s neither here nor there, as the baby never came to be.)

In other news: you know that Slater-Meade baby that was created inside Christina using Wilhelmina’s egg and dead Bradford’s sperm? Turns out that, after Christina caused some major issues by becoming too attached to the child, the baby is actually hers, as she had relations with her estranged husband right around the same time as the Slater-Meade child was put in her. Hey, shit happens. This in turn led to the much-publicized exit of actress Ashley Jensen, my beloved Scottish lass from Extras, in a respectable bit of non-insanity (which is surprising from this show). I will miss you, dear Ms. Jensen. I can’t wait to see where your career goes next.

And while Marc loses any true upward mobility at YETI, he redeems his earlier vicious ways by having a nice heart-to-heart with young Justin Suarez, who was crushed upon being rejected from LaGuardia High School (a.k.a. the Fame school), only to have Marc tell him that he was also a product of the public school system, and look how fabulous he turned out.

Im just going to imagine that the mannequin is a physical manifestation of Mollys cancer. Its a lot more interesting that way.

I'm just going to imagine that the mannequin is a physical manifestation of Molly's cancer. It's a lot more interesting that way.

Meanwhile, Daniel Meade has to deal with what I consider a fairly big fail in regards to his story with Molly. I dug the love square that put them together and I really liked Molly herself as a character, but once they finally became a couple, the writers just stopped caring. I understand the need for conflict, but having Molly’s cancer resurface was, in my opinion, lazy and cruel. All you’re really telling us is that Daniel can’t be happy, and when he tries to become a better man, it only hurts everybody else. What kind of message is that? And as the disease ate away at Molly, they threw out any semblance of interest in the character, only redeeming themselves (slightly) with the finale where Daniel pulls a Perry-Cox-On-Scrubs-In-That-Episode-With-Brendan-Fraser and hallucinates Molly being with him at the award show, only to find out that she had died at home that day.

But I’ve been stalling. What the hell happened to Betty? After succeeding considerably at YETI and scoring a junior editing position at a major publication (I forget which), the one and only Bernadette Peters abuses her privilege as Betty’s mentor and steals the job right out from under her. While I feel like the Bern was underused on this show, that was a damn great way to get the Great Red-Haired One out of the show and into that corner of our mind that remembers miniscule details of prime-time soap opera plots a decade down the line. And thus, Betty and Marc begin to battle for an editing job at Mode, thanks to the suicide of the previous reclusive editor Rachel Dratch (in a very bizarre role as identical twins). While Betty gets the job simply based on a coin toss, she has other shit to deal with. That’s right, Henry’s back in town.

It’s not entirely important what led to the big finale, but know this: while Henry came into town (after being involved in that whole crazy murder plot off the coast of Washington over on CBS Saturday nights) he technically had a girlfriend with him there in NY, he still managed to reignite Betty’s loins, or at least long enough to have Matt spy them having a final goodbye makeout session in a random NYC park. And as Betty loses Henry as he leaves town once again, Matt dumps her once and for all. But we’re not done with Matt, not by a longshot, because after all of this emotional wreckage, he has a surprise for her: as his father owns Meade Publications, Matt will now be working at Mode as Betty’s boss. And thus, a romantic interest becomes next season’s big villain, and I will readily admit that I did not see it coming.

So yes. It wasn’t a great season. It really couldn’t recover once Rebecca Romjin left to have her twins, and it’s also a shame that Amanda really wasn’t given much of a story at any point. But I love the way Marc came into his own this year, I liked everything revolving around any member of the Hartley clan, and while I wished that Daniel would be treated more sympathetically as a character, his arc with Molly was good while it lasted.

I’ll see you on Friday nights next season, Ugly Betty, which will hopefully not be your last season despite basically being pushed into a death slot. I wish Dollhouse as much luck as possible opposite you, and as I do not watch either Southland or Medium and cannot really pass judgment, I just hope that enough viewers find your bright and breezy counterprogramming to be a success. (Okay, I could lose Medium from the schedule, but I honestly would rather see all of them succeed, which is certainly a tall order.)

The Husband:

So right now, ABC’s Ugly Betty is on a mini-hiatus in order to allow Samantha Who? to finish its second season, as well as let In The Motherhood go through its entire six-episode first season. (Taking the FOX model of trying out six eps of a sitcom is actually pretty smart business, even if it is for a show that I keep accidentally calling Notes from the Underbelly, which is probably not a good sign.) This allowed me to catch up on the four backlogged Betty episodes that were sitting on my DVR, a pretty simple task considering how easy the show it to watch. But what’s been keeping me invested in this show, and, likewise, what issues do I have with the mini-run?


I love Matt. I think he’s a great foil for Betty, his relation to her industry allows for a type of romantic interaction missing from her Henry/Gio triangle (Henry worked at Meade, yes, but he was an accountant, so that doesn’t really count.) I think he’s a sweetheart, I think his bits of inner turmoil are entirely founded, and I like the way he is treated like an actual human being and not just a character cipher. When we last checked in on this blog, all we knew was that Matt was a sports journalist and cared very little about fashion. Now, we know he’s actually not only the heir to a disgustingly huge fortune, but he has so many notches on his bedpost that…some clever analogy. (Shut up! This is Ugly Betty.) And now, I think that he’s the best beau ever for Betty. Sorry, Gio fans, but I’m really pulling for Matt to become a major regular. Agree or disagree?

I think we need to talk about this obsession everyone has with this Gio person.

I think we need to talk about this obsession everyone has with this Gio person.

Christine Baranski

As Matt’s overbearing, snobbish and protective mother, Ms. Baranski fell right back into her glorious comfort zone after that appearance on The Big Bang Theory, which still annoys me to no end. She was completely miscast there. Here, she may be typecast, but it’s that wonderful kind of typecasting where it works perfectly. I desire more of her.

Ralph Macchio

He returned in a big way, finally bedding Hilda when she realizes that his clean-cut city councilman image may just be a cover for a badder boy underneath. Between this and Beer League and My Cousin Vinny, as well as his appearance on Broadway as J. Pierrepont Finch in How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying (taking over for Matthew Broderick when he left the cast in the mid-90s), I don’t know why he doesn’t get more active work, or why he’s barely in films anymore. He still looks effortlessly young, still has the comic timing learned from Mr. Miyagi, and yet still looks like he came from the downtrodden wrong side of the tracks. It’s a good combo. Why can’t he be the “best friend” in an Ed Burns movie?

Bernadette Peters

She was used for about 45 seconds in one episode of the four. This is not proper usage of The Bern. Ultimate fail, UB.

Connor & Molly

So after all that love square madness between Connor, Molly, Daniel and Wilhelmina, Connor just suddenly decides to just up and leave in one episode, suddenly desiring to embezzle money from Meade Publications as well as try to steal Willy’s baby and leave the country. This twist came out of nowhere, was not in tune with the rest of his character, and made little to no sense. All it did was save the money it would take to pay the actor to show up to work. That’s the only thing I can figure out. It’s a shame that UB is having trouble keeping story arcs going this season, because the fact that they get completely abandoned every four episodes or so makes me not want to invest as much energy in this series as I assume they’d like. And giving Molly borderline inoperable cancer has, so far, been completely pointless as well. But at least she only disappeared for one episode and came back. The same can’t be said for Connor, despite showing up for a few seconds in a dream sequence.

Steven R. Schirripa

Eh, get a load of this guy here, eh?

Eh, get a load of this guy here, eh?

Between his appearance here as a competitive TV chef, SLOTAT‘s Sausage King and his TV food show that I’ve never heard of (thanks Wikipedia!), Steven R. Schirripa has effectively changed his typecast from mob family comic relief (Casino and The Sopranos) into being the go-to guy for any role revolving around food. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a shift like this, so it’s good that he’s a very amicable actor, both onscreen and on talk shows. It’s tough to not love that face.


I know that actress Ashley Jensen is on her way out at the end of the season and they have something big planned for her character, but that doesn’t mean that giving her about five lines over four episodes is allowable. She’s definitely in the top three best characters of the show, but you wouldn’t know it from the scripts. Fail.

The Husband:

Sorry about the delay on my Ugly Betty posts, but episodes 9 and 10 of this season were pre-empted here on the West coast despite airing in the rest of the country, and I simply just didn’t get around to downloading and watching them until yesterday, leading to watching episode 11 last night four days after its original air date. And since Thursday, now that Bones is joining the Fox line-up that night and Private Practice was moved to its post-Grey’s spot, Ugly Betty will not be my first viewing priority of the night. (Don’t forget about all of NBC’s comedies, Survivor and Smallville, also on that night. Thank god I don’t watch CSI or Supernatural or ER, or I’d lose my damn mind on Thursday nights. What? America’s Best Dance Crew and Celebrity Rehab Sober House are also starting this Thursday at 10? Dammit!) But with that out of the way, let’s jump right into the world of Betty Suarez.

I haven’t really checked out the “popular opinion” of regular UB viewers, but I have been very satisfied with the last few episodes. Why? Because I like the show best when it’s about the publishing industry and where Betty fits in, or if she even does at all. While I also tend to love the episodes focusing on Betty’s romantic forays – as well as Hilda’s, oddly enough – it seems that no viewers will be happy until Betty ends up back with Gio, which is entirely understandable. Sometimes some of the other guys in her life just feel like placeholders, and I get why that would rub a lot of people the wrong way.

Its like Stylista, only not horrible.

YETI: It's like Stylista, only not horrible.

But the world of publishing! Whee! Three episodes ago, Betty learns of the illustrious YETI  program (Young Editors Training Initiative) and has only 48 hours to put together an entire magazine proposal as well as a letter of recommendation, and after failing to produce a worthy fashion mag in that given time, she takes her family’s advice and makes a magazine called B, which is designed for women who may not have all the money and glamour of what something like Mode advertises but do lead healthy and social lives. (Or, at least, that’s what I think it was. I’m still kind of unclear.) Worried that she will lose to Marc – who is also in the running, has an entourage and designed an entire magazine (complete with a special piece by David Sedaris, who I can assure you would never contribute to such a prospective magazine or to Marc St. James) – she is surprised to be the one person chosen from Mode to participate in the program. She then learns, sadly, that she was pretty much accepted merely to fill a minority quota, so she refuses the position to let Marc be accepted. Daniel, who has been too busy lusting after Connor’s fiancée Molly to care much about Betty and YETI, finally comes through and tells YETI that Betty also worked for Player Magazine, and thus she and Marc can both be in the program.

In the next episode, Betty begins to balance YETI with her regular work, and now that she and Amanda, despite their differences, live together and have to be close, they are paired together for a special magazine feature where they do what Amanda always does – rely on others for everything in her life, and show how somebody can do things around town that would ordinarily rack up thousands of dollars but somehow they come out paying for absolutely nothing. Including getting clothing samples and free meals as well as buying items that they know they will return within 30 days, the girls seem to be finally hitting it off, but when a pair of two con artist men dine-and-dash, and thus sticking Betty and Amanda with a very expensive restaurant bill, they have to think fast and finally drop the name Mode and lie about doing a feature on the restaurant in order to get out unscathed. A success there, Amanda soon learns that the men also robbed her purse, which included every last bit of Betty’s money in order to pay for the apartment. Luckily, Daniel loves the article, gives them an advance and decides to make the column a recurring feature. And feeling guilty, Amanda gets a humiliating job, and thus she continues being my favorite character on the show, what with her psycho character mood swings that only make sense within the crazy colorful world of UB.

Stick with me, kid, and Ill show you how to freeload like a pro.

Stick with me, kid, and I'll show you how to freeload like a pro.

In last week’s episode, Betty encounters a new teacher at YETI played by none other than Bernadette Peters (a.k.a. the Bern) and is put off by her tough teaching style, wherein all of the YETI editors have until the next class to attain 40 new contacts via networking. Betty’s not the most social person, so Marc and Amanda bring her to a bar and give her advice on how to network properly. (My favorite bit of this advice? Break the ice with the other person by offering up juicy but ultimately meaningless gossip.) Having a tough time reaching 40, Betty finally meets with Teri (Nikki Blonsky alert!), her equal at competing fashion mag Elle, and they hit it off, until the next day when Betty realizes that Teri, while Betty was in the bathroom cleaning up a mess she left on herself, peeked at Betty’s BlackBerry and intercepted a very important vintage dress that was to be on the cover of Mode. In order to not get crazy fired, Betty gets clever and uses one of her earlier new contacts, a dude at a catering service who just happens to be catering that night’s Elle party, and she and Marc steal the dress back. While I’m sure this was a one-time thing, I loved Blonsky in the episode and I like the idea of Betty having a true equal as a villain at a competing fashion rag, one who dresses as poorly as she does, and would provide some really great publishing world drama. Alas, the show has bigger fish to fry.

The Bern will totally school yo ass.

The Bern will totally school yo' ass.

As for the Daniel-Molly-Connor-Wilhelmina love square, Willie (sort of) blackmails Daniel into pursuing Molly further when she catches he and Molly on security camera having a non-physical but intimate moment in the fashion closet at Mode in order for Willie to have Connor all to herself. Daniel finally gets Molly alone at Wilhelmina’s cocktail party and gives her an ultimatum – admit that you have feelings for me, but if you don’t we’ll never talk again – that she rejects. That night, however, a depressed Daniel finds Molly on his stoop, declaring she finally broke up with Connor after a four-year relationship, so he and Molly make out when Connor and Wilhelmina have their own makeout session at her place.

As for the Suarezes, Ignacio is worried that Betty, taking advice from the Bern, is putting too much of her career before her family, and scolds her when she has to leave Hilda’s party intended to christen her now-legal hair salon business. When Betty finally returns hours later after dealing with the stolen vintage dress and ignoring several calls from Hilda, she finds that nobody is home. Finally calling Hilda back, she is crushed to learn that her father is in the hospital, having had a heart attack. To be continued…

Where is the show going? Not really sure, as I don’t really consider any of the love square to be of much interest, and now that I hear Ashley Jensen is opting out of returning to the show next year, her drama involving being Willie’s surrogate mother isn’t going to last much longer, but right now I’m very interested in UB as long as it can keep up some of the professional intrigue that…intrigues me so much right now. Without that element, I think the show loses a great deal of its energy, and that’s a complete shame.

And I don’t usually notice these things, but is Betty now satisfactorily more of a fashion disaster than she was during the first few bits of this season when people were worried that she was dressing too well? It seems that way to me, but I really don’t know much about that kind of thing, and as my wife does not watch this show, I can’t exactly ask her, now can I?

The Husband:

Whether positive or negative, everybody seems to have something to say about ABC’s smash medical drama hit Grey’s Anatomy.

“It’s a great nighttime soap.”
“It’s the worst-written show on TV.”

“I love Katherine Heigl.”

“Katherine Heigl needs to shut the fuck up.”

“This show jumped the shark after the second season.”
“This show is better than ever.”
“Meredith, quit your fucking whining.”
“McDreamy. McSteamy. McShutUp.”

I fall into the generally positive crowd, as I really dig the show on a consistent basis, but I don’t put enough real emotion into it so as to get very angry when it falters. I consider it a guilty pleasure, and I don’t mind if the episodes stack up on my DVR, since if I’m in a pretty bad mood or just generally stressed I can watch four episodes in a row and get all my tears and frustration out of me. (Basically, no matter what is going on in my life, at least I’m not in the hospital with some rare organ disease. Hey, it cheers me up.) I don’t pretend like it’s A-list television drama, but I’m glad it has caught on in the wake of ER’s death rattle (i.e. any ER season since the new millennium).

I also don’t even mind Dr. Meredith Grey complaining nonstop every week, because that’s her character. It may grate, but that’s who she is, and I find her a good dramatic foil to pretty much everything else that goes on at Seattle Grace. And hey, whenever she gets too obnoxious, something happens like in this s5 premiere when Dr. Cristina Yang finally tells her to shut up about Dr. Derek Shepherd, shut up about your insecurities, shut up about your dead mother, and realize that things can’t always go your way.

Tonight’s two-part episode focused on Seattle Grace’s fall from…grace…as it plummeted to #12 in the rankings of teaching hospitals, losing to competitors both old and new. Chief Webber was infuriated by the news, going through the five stages of denial, at the end of the episode finally accepting the hospital’s shortcomings and confronting his staff with their poor performance, both in surgery and in education. His rage throughout the episode was abrupt, as his character tends to be quiet in his anger and judgment, but you can’t blame him for feeling some of the sting of his separation from his wife Adele.

“You don’t know how to do anything! None of you!”  — Chief Richard Webber

The rest of the hospital did not take the ranking news lightly, so Bailey gathered the main characters to wait outside for any emergency to come their way, ready to show their talents to whatever ailments may arrive. Up pulls a limo holding three middle-aged women who were on their way to a Fire & Ice Ball when their limo skidded on black ice – you see, it’s ironic! – and caused major damage. Two of these women were Kathy Baker – who I will never forgive for getting the Best Actress Emmy that should have gone to the far more deserving Claire Danes for My So-Called Life way back in the 1990s – and Broadway legend Bernadette Peters (a.ka. the Bern). Turns out that Baker has been sleeping with the Bern’s husband, and both have been keeping his eight-months-earlier job termination from her. Now, I understand that sometimes marriages can go cold and sometimes a guy just needs another woman, but you do not cheat with Kathy Baker if the Bern is your wife. There’s no contest whatsoever.

Clearly, everything is not coming up roses for The Bern.

Clearly, everything is not coming up roses for The Bern.

The women’s respective husbands also got into a limo crash across town, and the staff basically cheats the system and gets the husbands moved from a competing hospital to Grace. That’s when everything gets tragically wacky. One husband dies, another is paralyzed and the third (the cheating one) severs his vocal chords so when the adultery comes out into the open, through the Bern’s sudden realization that they are broke and their insurance expires at midnight that night, he has to apologize by note and get Lexi (a.k.a. Mini-Grey) to read the note aloud. At the end, everything is (sort of) fine with the couple, but they have one more tragedy to contend with:

The third woman – as in the one actress I can’t identify without checking the Internet – got such a bad head injury that that every 30 seconds her brain resets and has to ask where she is and where her (dead) husband is. I know it’s medically feasible, but I could only think of an improv exercise of Party Quirks from high school drama class where I had to have that very same malady and get my peer to guess who/what I was trying to be. Yeah, not exactly the kind of thoughts I think Shonda Rhimes had in mind when she wrote this episode.

The recurring amnesia was a little too campy for its own good, but it did bring a good laugh from Dr. Karev when, while undergoing a CT scan and asking for the umpteenth time where she is, he replies:

“You’re in a spaceship. You’re going to the moon. Enjoy the ride.” – Dr. Alex Karev

The real important introduction of the night, though, was Kevin McKidd as Major Hunt, a.k.a. Major Badass, came in with an emergency case and proceeded to perform better medicine under pressure than any of the main characters. Hell, he frickin’ staples his own wound shut without any anesthesia, pulls out the icicle that non-fatally impaled Dr. Yang in the belly – oh yeah, that happened – then macks on her, and is finally offered a position at the hospital. He turns it down, but we all know he’ll stick around. Because what else does he have to do. After doing his final jump into the past from San Francisco – see Journeyman – McKidd happened to end up as a Roman Centurion name Lucius Veronus (Rome) and become extremely badass, then traveled back to 21st-century Seattle to bring his badassery to the Army and, ultimately, the hospital and Yang’s love life.

Kevin McKid has traveled through time to kick ass and take names. And staple his own wounds without anesthetic.

Kevin McKidd has traveled through time to kick ass and take names. And staple his own wounds without anesthetic.

Other items of note:

  • Straightlaced Dr. Bailey finally learned that breaking the rules can lead to some good, as she cheats the insurance expiration and performs surgery on the patient after the deadline.
  • Mini-Grey needs to stop freaking out that George once had sex with her step-sister Meredith. That was the old George. This is the new George. Leave it alone.
  • Nurse Rose needs to leave the show now. After four seasons, I am done with anything getting in the way of a Meredith-Derek happily-ever-after. It’s old news. Move on.
  • Yang’s hallucination of Future Meredith and Future Cristina was hilarious. If the show is ever waning, they could pull a Desperate Housewives and shift the action 40 years into the future.
  • For those of you self-righteous talkbackers online on other TV blogs who have proclaimed that they will no longer be watching the show now that Callie and Dr. Hahn are having a sinful lesbian relationship, let me just say this: clearly, the show was never meant for you. You are not its target audience. I’m sorry you’ve wasted your time with such “baseless” television. I respect your right to hold your beliefs, but anyone who suffers from homophobia (or whatever you want to call it) has plenty of other shows from which to choose. Me? I love what the relationship has done for stressed-out Callie and the bossy Dr. Hahn. I think it’s very sweet and very progressive. Welcome to the new century.

“I’ve never kissed a girl. I’m not even sure if I like kissing girls. I don’t actually like kissing girls. I just like kissing one girl. You.” – Dr. Callie Torres